Being Strong Isn’t Easy.

Yesterday, my Mom was diagnosed to have Adenocarcinoma or stomach cancer. It wasn’t easy to act like there’s nothing wrong and to be strong right in front of her. I was sure as hell it wasn’t easy when you want to cry all out and hug her tight. But you just can’t since you need to stay strong in front of her. Kasi mag-aalala siya sa amin kapag ganun.

We stayed in the hospital for almost two weeks. It hurts me everytime I see her in pain, and everytime I look at her. She lost weight and she doesn’t eat anymore. She had to go through a lot of tests and she even had blood transfusion which gave her real pain. I swear seeing my Mom like that hurts me so much. It could’ve been me instead of her, I thought. She was old and she cannot handle the pain anymore. She went through a lot already.

I don’t have the right to blame anyone, especially God. I don’t blame Him. It’s just hard to accept since I didn’t expect this to happen to her. I mean, she was fine. She was okay. Everything’s fine but this happened. It was just.. really hard for me since she was my only treasure, my Mom, my Dad, my everything. I don’t wanna loose her yet. I still have many plans for the two of us and I haven’t graduated in college. We will still travel around the world since I know that she really wanted that from the very beginning.

Right now, we’re doing everything for her. We’re looking for the best doctor who could help us get through this. We’re giving her the love and care she needs. And prayers.

Dear God, if one day I lose my hope and purpose, give me confidence that your destiny is better than anything I ever dreamed.

Hey, if you’re reading this, please do pray for my Mom too. She really needs it and it will help her a lot. Thank you!