Coping With Failure

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WHAT IS FAILURE?

According to Merriam-Webster, Failure is a state of inability to perform a normal function or lack of success. All of us experienced failure but it just varies on how each of us cope with it. A person can actually be suicidal because of failure.


 

XXQUEEN SAYS..

The last time I failed big time was my Licensure Examination last July. Seeing the list of successful examiners without my name on it really made my heart skipped a bit and it gave me mixed feelings. I really cried hard that night. Who wouldn’t, right? Natulog akong umiiyak talaga. Masasabi ko na mas matindi pa ang pakiramdam kesa sa pagiging brokenhearted!

There are times that almost failed some of my major subjects during college. Tipong pinupush na talaga ako ng prof ko sa prelim pa lang. Haha! Pasaway din ako nung college din talaga. Aside from that, I once got in probationary and I lost my financial scholarship during third year. Hindi naman ako kahit kelan bumagsak sa isang subject.I graduated just in time.

With my latest and biggest failure, I realized many things and it made me even stronger. I just told myself that I’ve been though a lot already, a lot worse than this and I am stronger than ever.

Maybe I am not really ready for it because I know I am not at my best when I took the exam. I was confused with my life and what path to take. There are also some family issues that makes me a bit stressed. Sobra! And until now! Wala talaga akong gana magreview sa totoo lang. I was thinking of rest and vacation most of the time. Gusto ko mag-unwind and magvacation somewhere.


My 5 TIPS IN COPING WITH FAILURE

  1. ACCEPT. This is the very first thing to do. It may be hard at first but eventually, you should start to accept that some things are usually not meant to be. Accept that you lose, your effort is still not enough, or you are not really prepared for it. Stop complaining. Another thing, if you already accept it, no one can use it against you and there’s nothing to be ashamed of.
  2. ASSESS YOURSELF. Alamin mo kung ano mga yung pagkakamali mo (kung meron man) at yung mga pagkukulang mo. Yes, you need to do this. Why? Paalala lang, hindi mag-aassess para iblame ang sarili ha. Pang positive thinking tayo. You should use it to improve yourself at para magawa mo na sya sa susunod na try mo. Malay mo, mapunan mo na ang mga pagkukulang mo at nakatadhana na ito para sa ‘yo.
  3. TRUST GOD’S PERFECT TIMING. It may not be given to you now, but learn to have faith in God and trust His plans. He may have another plans for you, like something better. Just trust Him. He will give what you’ve been praying or something better. Never be afraid to take another exam or job interview again. Just like a quote in my room, “Life is all about taking risks. If you never take risks, then you’ll never know what you’re capable of.
  4. MOVE ON. Don’t be stuck in the past. Move on. There are still good things in life. To me, I’m planning to find a decent job already but not in my field since I don’t have my license yet. I don’t wanna be just a bummer forever. Lol. Remember there are people who also experienced your failure, and analyze how did they cope with it. If they can, you can also do it. Right?
  5. CHEER UP. You should not waste your time crying in your room forever. While waiting for another shot, go out with your friends and have fun or eat your heart out. Not because you failed, you can’t have fun. Hey, honestly that’s what you need. Your boyfriend/girlfriend, friends and family can help you get through it, I promise that. Base on my experience, my friends and my boyfriend really helped me a lot in coping with my failure. They gave me words to ponder.
  6. NEVER GIVE UP ON YOUR GOALS. Never give up on your goals, some of it may be delayed though. Remind yourself that nothing can stop you. Use this failure experience to fill up what is lacking with you and never make the same mistakes again. Make this experience beneficial for the better and stronger you. What doesn’t kill you makes you stronger, remember?

 

QUOTES

“Just because you fail once doesn’t mean you’re gonna fail at everything.”
― Marilyn Monroe

“Success is not final, failure is not fatal: it is the courage to continue that counts.”
― Winston S. Churchill

“You must make a decision that you are going to move on. It wont happen automatically. You will have to rise up and say, ‘I don’t care how hard this is, I don’t care how disappointed I am, I’m not going to let this get the best of me. I’m moving on with my life.”
― Joel Osteen, Your Best Life Now: 7 Steps to Living at Your Full Potential

I answered a Test online, it called TEST: How do you cope with failure? and I just want to share the result with you. You can check out their TEST here. So here it goes:

Failure? You don’t know the meaning of the word

For you, failure is just like anything else. You have failed at things before perhaps, but no more than anyone else. The truth is that you don’t like to dwell on past mistakes. Perhaps you prefer not to acknowledge them, but rather reject or deny them. Is it difficult to explain your mistakes? You sense that one mistake can revive others, or several, long-buried, more painful mistakes. It would, without a doubt, help if you acknowledged this pain, but you prefer to remember your successes and even look forward to the successes to come. It makes you feel in control. Maybe you are just programmed to succeed. But why? One reason might be that there were heavy demands on you to do well when you were a child. If that’s the case, you probably feel that others won’t appreciate your worth unless you succeed and that if you fail you will forfeit their love. Hiding your faults means suffering less in life. But failures have their place alongside lots of other events in making for a fulfilling life. Through failure you can learn useful lessons. It is necessary, therefore, to know how to recognise your failures, acknowledge them and then examine them. Doing this could introduce you to some new approaches to tackling them.

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