The Great Change

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March 15, 2014 marked the day that I lost the most precious person in my life, my everything. 2 or 3 days ago before that day, she already changed. We can’t talk to her already. She was like in coma for those days and until her last breath. It actually hurts me when I try to talk to her and tell her “Mom, I’m going to school now. Wait for me, I love you.” She doesn’t respond anymore. She doesn’t even respond to our touch. Yes, it really broke my heart knowing that the end is near. You can actually feel it and you can’t do anything about it but just to accept it. So yeah, on that day I went to school like the usual days because I have classes and I have my thesis. Dapat maaga akong umuwi nun eh, but someone called us and said that we have to get our thesis paper from the house of our dean because we are already in a rush since the deadline was near. I volunteered to go since I want to do the thesis anyway. My boyfriend went with me. It was already night when we got there. After we picked up our thesis, we just stopped by at a fast food restau to eat dinner then, I went home. My aunt and my uncle fetched me at the rotonda. A text from my cousin broke my heart. I was nearly home when she said, “Ate Lai was gone already”. I started to cry. Alam mo yun, yung ang lapit mo na. Hindi man lang ako umabot. Nakakainis! I rushed to go inside the house as soon as we got home. Then, I found her. Lying peacefully and breathless. I said to her, “Mommy, hindi mo na ako nahintay ha? Pero sige okay lang, basta hindi ka na nahihirapan. Pero sana talaga hinintay mo ako eh”. I really cried my heart out. Someone I really love was gone and will never be back. She was my everything for God’s sake. She was my mother, my father, my sister, my bestfriend, my shopping buddy, my food buddy and more. And she’s gone, no one can ever replace her.

I thought for the changes in my life. There will be a great change, of course. I will live on my own now. I will independent. I have to make my own decisions because if I don’t, who else will? I have to be strong and independent. That’s what I told my self. For my Mom, I will.

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